Choosing Single Momhood & Travel Over a Relationship (and Normal Life!)

I didn’t start out as a minimalist who STRESSES OUT when I own more than 3 suitcases full of “stuff” but that’s me today.

Who we become is shaped by so many factors. We are all different and that’s what makes this great big world of humans so magical. But, while it’s true for both genders, I hope we can all agree that generally MEN have more possibilities in life than WOMEN do.

Men are often taught to be strong & self-sufficient. Most girls are taught to dream of marriage, although not me. Mom taught me to never rely on a man & to stand on my own.

But at 23, whilst backpacking Europe, I DID GET MARRIED to a local man in Spain I thought was a soulmate. We had a beautiful baby girl. Then his true side came to light as he stripped away my freedoms — using my daughter & him as “breadwinner” to control me. So I made a plan. Found a job & divorced him before my daughter’s 1st birthday — opting to be HAPPY as a single mom instead of MISERABLE as a wife.

“We regret the things we don’t do more than the things we do,” are Mark Twain’s wise words of long-term remorse over lost opportunities.

The thing is, not a day goes by that I regret leaving my husband. And definitely never for answering a longing to travel and live in 3 countries with my daughter. Starting down that road in my 20s & 30s before my career took off, I’d save up money all year just for us to go on ONE “on-sale / all-inclusive” holiday. Having 100% freedom to live my own life + those trips made any struggle worth it.

Some of my happiest memories with my daughter were on adventures like solo road-tripping across Tunisia when she was eight. Or birthday trips around France, New Year’s Eve in Marrakech, our road trip in India before she flew the nest to go to uni, and so much more.

FINAL THOUGHTS
I wish there wasn’t pressure on unhappy women to continue to live a life that society or their families deems “better” than the FREEDOM OF DIVORCE. This is most heartbreaking for women whose personhood is so controlled that they only exist in the home – with NO POSSIBILITY TO DREAM or find any outside joy. They deserve so much more.