If 2 people were ever more opposite, it would be me and my sweet Mommy. This is true down to the base core of who we are. And it’s been our greatest challenge to overcome.
The obvious is that I am tall and she is petite or she was born with a thick mane of dark hair, whereas I was born with thin, blonde hair. Then there’s who we are inside. I’m a liberal democrat, mom’s an ultra-conservative republican. Mom is amazing with money, an inspiration when it comes to responsibility, and enjoys stability. I skew in the opposite direction on all points.
Over the years, LOVE has been our bond. Beyond that, my mother ALWAYS SHOWS UP. She’s visited me in every country I’ve lived in except China and Pakistan. She makes me feel like I have a safety net to live my unstable life. If I am ever in a pickle and free-falling, she is always there and my parachute.
Yet our differences kept our relationship from growing.
Without going into details, we grew up very differently (my upbringing was infinitely more stable and non-combative). That determined behaviours in us that you maybe wouldn’t expect. Like I am more empathetic and an open (honest) communicator. I’m also more chill and loving (but I suppose those are consistent with someone brought up with more freedoms and less fears).
YET I WANTED MORE
I wanted a closeness we didn’t have. So, during a family reunion in 2023, I invited Mom out for lunch at a nice spot, just the two of us. I ordered wine. I explained, calmly, how I would like to have a closer relationship and what that would look like to me.
It sounds easy and uncomplicated but that’s not how it was.
My Mom loves me yet what to me was a request to have a deeper relationship, to my Mom felt a bit like an attack. Not because I was attacking her and not because she also wouldn’t like a closer relationship. It’s just that we are so different.
But she said YES and we’ve been growing closer ever since. We’ve been on holiday that felt different to just “visiting” and know each other MORE. It’s wonderful.
Sometimes, all we have to do is gently share what we want. Or nothing will ever change.
Happy Mother’s Day, sweet Mommy ❤️
Originally shared: May 11, 2025
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