It’s strange to sit back and do the math and realise that it has been 21 years since my last proper boyfriend but that is how long it has been. The year was 2005 and he and I were like chalk and cheese and it didn’t last more than a year. He was a great guy. A Brit with kids (which was always a big no no for me but I gave it a shot with him). When things ended, I went back to my normal life of prioritising my daughter and having fun.

My daughter was the best part of me. She was my favourite travel companion and I was insanely proud of my little angel. As a single mom with an ex-husband who refused to pay child support, life with her was financially challenging but wildly wonderful. I believed wholeheartedly that a man in my life would take away from the wonderful dynamic we had so I avoided being in a relationship during those years.

We were living in Barcelona at the time of the “relationship of 2005” and things stayed pretty much the same until we moved to India in 2011. In Bangalore, there were a couple of guys that COULD have been considered a real relationship in other countries but not in India. I was a divorced woman with a teenage daughter so that meant I was persona non grata for most men because they could never take me home to meet the family. So I had a couple of “affairs” for lack of a better description but that was it.

Flash forward 15 years and we arrive to today in Islamabad, Pakistan. My daughter has a Ph.D and is 30 years old yet I’m in exactly the same boyfriend boat as I’ve been since 2005. By which I mean, no man. In fact, it has been five years since I’ve even kissed someone.

And I couldn’t care less.

Why I’m Not In A Relationship

No Man Has Made My Life “Better”

I’ve been in love many times but love fades. Then “real life” sets in and that’s NEVER as fulfilling or fun as that honeymoon period of loved-up bliss. The obligation and the tethered existence that seems to come with relationships just isn’t for me. For me, it’s better alone … no compromises, no discussions, and I make 100% of my daily decisions.

I Don’t Need A Man

In our mother & grandmother’s time, it used to be that a woman wasn’t the master of her own destiny and that a man was needed to provide shelter, food, and a life for women. That is NOT the case anymore. I was fortunate to be born in Los Angeles, California and into a very progressive and liberal world. Women still aren’t 100% equal to men there but – like other progressive counties – it’s close enough for a woman to follow most any dream in her heart and stand on her own two feet.

It Would Complicate My Nomadic Life

Years ago the complication was because it would change the dynamic of the life I led with my daughter. Now it’s more that a relationship would – most likely – tie me down in ways I’m not ready for yet. Maybe there’s a man out there who loves moving around as much as I do but I have yet to meet that guy. The more likely scenario is that I would need to plant roots again, which is something I don’t want. Not yet. Being free to change countries at the drop of a hat is one of the things I love about my life. This isn’t a luxury most people’s lives can afford and I cherish it.

What Would Happen At Night?

Get ready to laugh because this is my stupidest reason for sure. I have a very erratic schedule and never know on a given night if I’ll be up ‘til midnight or 4am. It depends on if I’m writing or on my workload that day. I spend half my evening in bed with my laptop, which I like. All of that would have to change if the relationship became serious. I know how ridiculous that sounds but it’s true…

Given that I haven’t met anyone interesting (for me) in ages, my lifestyle is not in any kind of urgent jeopardy! This is all just conjecture following an odd moment of being seriously SERIOUSLY hit on recently. But this re-hashing of my relationship status has confirmed that ‘single’ is still my preferred status.

So, for now … long live the bliss of single life!